As Vinnie Jones, famous 'Hollywood' British 'actor'/WELSH??? Premiership Footballer & Grabber of Paul 'Gazza' Gascoine's testacles once said in some shit Guy Richie film or other.... "It's been emotional..."
And yet that could best describe my own personal 72 hours this weekend.
And yet that could best describe my own personal 72 hours this weekend.
Wow! Starting with a promise to get back to Saturn related posts this weekend, I was thrilled to receive via eBay, my Sega Saturn 'Steering Wheel', for the quite bargaintastic price of £8 plus P + P! Yeah! I didn't even know this existed till I started this blog... It's official title is the "Arcade Racer" and I'm sure you'll agree that it's a good looking beast....
These babies go for a good thirty quid 'Boxed Up', and HEY! in retrospect, that would have seemed like a bargain!
Cos I got a crock of shit that doesn't actually work...
Having contacted the 'seller/thief ' he assured me that it worked just fine before he wrapped it up and entrusted it to the British postal service... Yeah right... Bite me you c**t...
Cardiff? I ask you???C*NT!!! I got burned!!!!
OK thank Bob for Woolworths! For it was in that most Great British of institutions that I was not shafted up the a**e by some swindling sausage jockey, Saturn Steering Wheel C**k S**ker Rip Off Merchant from f**cking Cardiff,
but was in fact sold five copies of House Of The Dead 2 (PC PORT) for the rediculous price of £1 each by a most fabulous and quite attractive shop assistant called Rachel. She would have definitely (CENSORED BY THE SATURN JUNKYARD LEGAL TEAM)
HOTD2... the Dreamcast light gun legend? Playable with online options on your PC for a mere QUID??? Yes that's right a f**king POUND!! Oh the humanity!!!
So if you're lost in all the 'sweariness' of this post, that one was a high... (compared to the Welsh swindling steering wh...) You get the point.
This weekend for me has been completely consumed by gaming. Gaming!!! GAMING!!!
And two games have sucked me right in and made me completely antisocial online and within the real environments of my house. They are Last Hope (brand new Dreamcast title!!!!!)
... and Resident Evil Code Veronica (old but fabulous DC title...)... Look HERE....
Anyway, the disapointment of receiving a duff steering wheel has made me want to go to bed...
So I'm off... I will focus on the Saturn in the next post 'cos I've got a couple of new games that need mentioning. Until then lets hope the steering wheel swindling c**t from Cardiff gets *t***i**la* c***er the m**h**-f**k*** c*c*s***i*g C*NT!!!!*
Peace and love to you all!!
PS This tune by Mason has just consumed me this weekend (listen here).
BLLLRRRGGHHH!!!!
Elderly, it needs highlighting in your musical postings , its Number 5!!!
(Wow my word verification is Nasca... Like the lines man... and Nascar... )
15 comments:
I assume that you have tried cleaning the ports and connectors and retrying the controller a few times?
I bought a Saturn pad a week ago (Since all I have are the analog ones) and it took a bit of re-plugging and cleaning before it worked propertly.
Ah Caleb! The sobre voice of reason! Whilst I have tried it a few times, I haven't tried cleaning it. My pessimistic side just makes me think its a goner...
lol, sounds like words I would I would say if that happened to me!
I am willing to give a helping hand in the ass wooping this guy from Cardiff deserves. Do not follow Calebs advice, even though his reason is perfectly rational and makes sense. beating this guy up can make you feel alot better :P
Then you could actually make him clean tons of Sega Saturn periphals and blow millions of NES cartridges in a custom-built concentration camp a la Guadanamo/Aushwitz...
Oh, and House of the Dead was most definitely a bargain! Teleport me one and I'll give you a euro :)
Hey now...I never said that beating the guy up wasn't a viable option!
In fact that why I like to do most of my video game buying face to face so I can always resort to that!
I am ashamed in hindsight that I didn't promote the beatdown in my original response.
Now then boys...
I would very willingly join Mikey in travelling down to Cardiff, finding the guy and shove his steering wheel up his arse...
HOWEVER! As Mikey lives in the good ol' US of A and we don't know exactly which guy in Cardiff it is... (Damn your anonymity eBay!!)... this might prove problematic...
And what's worse is i'm stuck on the very last boss on Disc 1 of RE CV and I can't kill him...
It's really killing me...
Oh the irony...
How about sending RE CV to the Mikey bloke... Hehe, torment, torment...
(gets big jar of vaseline, packs suitcase , plans route to Cardiff.....thinks..... takes jar of vaseline out of the suitcase....)
this is going to be brilliant!
I only beat the last disk 1 boss by practicing the whole "dodge the off hand" trick.
Hitting him with that damn baggage thing is tough.
C.
Caleb! The whole experience has left me feeling f**ked! I'm banking on the brother of the guy who made/fixes my computer killing the Tyrant for me.
And if he does it's only the end of Disc 1... Surely i'm going to struggle with Disc 2??/
getting stuck by a end of level insane difficulty boss, does my head in. no patience im afraid..
(meditates on improving FK's reflexes....)
Yip! Until someone with more skills than me comes to finish it off it's 'on hold'...
In a great way though I've started playing the Saturn version of the original RE to compensate... There is something very shit about starting on an excellent PS2 game and then returning to it's Saturn forefather. I guess I should have been doing that in about 1996, and enjoying the progression as games, graphics and xonsoles got better...
Where did I go wrong???
I think it was that 10 year period when I was off my nana on Class A's and video games meant little compared to larging it at festivals and raves with loads of scantily clad 20-something babes. How stupid was that?
*FK goes off and weeps silently about his current middle aged sober/gaming persona...*
..erm any pictures? of the scantily bits....
(grabs leprechaun by the ear... drags him out of the comment box...)
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