Monday 16 October 2017

Sega Saturn Saucepot Of The Month... October 2017

As I said last month when I started this feature, this is not some sort of "boys only", misogynistic, perv-fest, but is in fact, an equal opportunities, gender inclusive, true appreciation of the pretend physical perfection, of non-existent characters, made up of sprites, polygons and magic.

So, to keep things balanced, and in a perfect Yin/Yang style harmony, it's time to select a male 'Saturn saucepot'.  I was thinking of using a real life human sex object, in the shape of one of the Saturn Junkyard's Facebook Page Admins, but as I only have myself, Jon Lee and Daniel Turner to choose from, I had to scrap that idea.


Come and get me girls!
Wanna see my stunner?

So, with so many Saturn themed cyber-hunks to choose from, where do I start? I think it would be prudent to select from Saturn exclusives, but obviously it can't be Virtua Cop as that was the source of last month's saucepot... One of the Burning Rangers boys or perhaps one of the guys from the Last Bronx posse? One of the male crew from the Deep Fear submarine? NiGHTs? Is she even a guy or is he actually a girl?

Hang on! What the hell am I thinking? There could only be one Saturn mascot that oozes male sensuality and leaks testosterone wherever he goes. One man, that represents everything we love about the Sega Saturn. One man who urges us to play our Saturns day and night, and chastises us physically when we don't!

That man is of course, the epic, the myth-making, the legendary, Segata Sanshiro!!!!
Now it says in the notoriously unreliable unreliable Wikipedia, that Segata Sanshiro is in fact a fictional character played by veteran Japanese actor Hiroshi Fujioka.
PAH! That can't be true? He's not real??? Next they'll be telling me that Santa is just a guy in a red suit with a mask...

Segata Sanshiro is in fact a semi-deistic Judo master who was always with us. He was never born, but simply incarnated on the tail of one of the heavenly dragons, that eternally fly through the skies over Japan. He was always the age you see him now, and was always in possession, of both the most impressive martial arts moves ever encountered, and a huge Sega Saturn which he, carried with him wherever he went, incorporating it into his daily training regime. A truly altruistic soul, Segata also took the time to enlighten those souls who were not completely devoted to the Saturn, by pummelling them to within an inch of their lives... and who doesn't find that sexy?

So sit back and drink him in for a few moments...

Come and get me girls...

If we have any lady readers, or any male readers who are drawn to this sort of thing, I hope you truly appreciate that ruggedly handsome face, the rippling muscles, exotic bare chest, and finally that thick, black lustrous Elvis-inspired hair... I'm sure you'll agree Segata Sanshiro is the sauciest male Saturn icon we could have selected. The only problem I'm now faced with, is how to follow this in November. After all, it's hard to improve on perfection!

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